Positive benefits of failure

 Hello everyone! 

Today I decided to discuss the daunting topic which is failure. I want to be very vulnerable and discuss some of my own experiences with you to hopefully give you context on the topic. 

Failure is something that we can't change or stop, we can allow it to bring us down and hinder our growth towards success or we can use it to propel us forward with the lessons it provides to us.

For some of us, we are either afraid or open to failing. I remember in school when I would fail a test- that feeling you get when you don't feel good enough, you feel like you failed yourself, your parents and the opinions that others think of you and you feel disappointed in yourself that basically diminishes any form of self confidence you have in yourself.

I would beat myself up and it messed with my self esteem. We tend to base self esteem off of what other people say to us or think of us, instead of what we should think of ourselves, and from school, you are not taught that failing is a good thing, so later on in life, when you fail massively at something, instead of looking at that failure as either a valuable lesson from that process or as a sign to maybe change your direction- we beat ourselves up until we don't feel worthy enough and we begin to fear failure so much that we stop stepping out of our comfort zones, we play it safe, we lose that passion for life where we try new things as part of growth. 

That is where I was a few years ago. I was constantly made to feel hard to love, not capable of achieving my wildest dreams and simply not good enough. As mentioned in a previous episode, when we are constantly around people who want to bring you down and use their words to do that, it is inevitable that we begin to believe what they say. It takes a while to really break free from those negative though patterns, I still have days when I slip into the belief that 'maybe I am not good enough' or 'can I really do this?' , 'maybe this is not for me' and I have to consciously take a moment, understand why I am feeling this way and usually it stems from the fear of failing. If we ever want to really thrive, succeed and be happy, we need to face our emotions head on, understand them and consciously change those negative thoughts into more positive affirmations so that your perspective on life and failure can change. 

Failure teaches us lessons because you can treat failure as lessons to guide you towards the success you want. You've now been through that experience, you gained the wisdom from that experience, now use it to your advantage and look for the lesson it taught you. It is one of the gifts that life gives us and sometimes it can be so hard to see it that way, but in order for real change to happen in your life, you need to practice a positive perspective. 

Failure trains you to become stronger because we work hard every day and apply so much effort in what we do and sometimes things just don't go our way. The question you need to ask yourself is -'Do you give up? or do you pick yourself up again?'

Experiencing failures in life helps you to learn how to manage your emotions, understand your challenges and be able to refocus again so that you can be aligned with your goals, dreams and purpose. Don't dwell on those failures, rather collect the lessons and keep moving forward, what really defines you is how you get back up again, every single time, even when it feels as though you are defeated for the last time. Keep getting back up. 

Imagine a life without failure...we would lose the hunger and drive to improve ourselves and seek knowledge. Commit yourself to embracing these lessons we gain from failing. See the positive side to these little failures every day. 

I want to discuss a story regarding when I started my own clothing business. It was an amazing experience for me because I learnt a lot about running a business and connecting with consumers, however when I decided to stop my clothing brand, I felt like I was giving up and I felt like a failure. However I just decided that it was not the right time for me and I simply don't have the time, and I needed to be really honest with myself and beat myself up over what other people would be saying. It simply was not aligned with my plan so I gave it up, I lost the passion I had for it, and I feel that maybe I was not ready yet. I feel like society sees readjusting and rethinking as failing, but I believe that it is important to re route than quit and that it is important to take a break and refocus on what makes you happy, not only to satisfy others. 

The positive side of that experience was that I learned a lot about what it takes to run a successful clothing business and I enjoyed that experience so much and who knows in a few years, if I decide to create my own clothing line again, but for now, I want to focus on what makes me happy and fulfilled in life, not to please others. 

Choose to pick yourself up from a setback or multiple set backs and focus on growing towards success. In the end, life is all about shifting your perspective.

I truly hope this was valuable and insightful. I hope it inspired you in your life and I am grateful to share my experiences with you to hopefully make you understand that anything is possible in life.