Alone Time

 Hi everyone! Welcome to HAPPY DAYS podcast. I am Kelly Ward - Your host

I hope you are having a beautiful week. I am so excited to be hanging out with you today. 

Alright so the reason I decided I wanted to speak about Alone Time is because when you are feeling overwhelmed or stress or anxious about what is going on in your life, it may be a sign that you need to take a step back, spend some much needed time with yourself so that you can refocus and find your happy again. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are dealing with or what we want to achieve and we forget why we actually started and when you discover your reason for why you started - you can motivate yourself to keep going and to keep pushing forward. Spending time with yourself is so important because you are also able to reflect, sit with your own thoughts, evaluate what is important to you in your life and also identify what you don't like about yourself and your life so that we can start taking the necessary steps to change it. How did you sleep last night? Did you wake up feeling good or still tired? For anyone struggling to sleep at night - chamomile tea works amazingly. 

Ask yourself: Have I chosen myself recently? Have I been taking care of my own well-being? How will I decide to choose myself today? Make sure you actually check in with yourself today. Spending time with yourself helps you to heal and grow because you can ask yourself: Do I ignore my negative thoughts? Well why do I? What would happen if I actually allowed myself to feel them, instead of keeping them inside? What are the many ways I judge myself on a daily basis? How can I actually begin to undo those thought patterns? When you have that much needed time with yourself, you are able to set goals that will help you to really heal and grow in your life. Something I promote to people is having an awareness journal. You can basically have a journal for anything - whether its a goal journal. manifestation journal, a gratitude journal or a food journal. Journaling is a positive activity because you are opening yourself up to healing by writing down your emotions and your most honest thoughts. So awareness journaling basically allows you to be more present, where you have the ability to recognise how you are feeling and allows you to live more abundantly in your life. So basically before you go to bed at night. Write down these things: What happened today? Anything normal or unordinary? How did your daily events make you feel? If any negative event happened, ask yourself - how can I release the emotion so it does not carry on to tomorrow? What other thoughts or behaviours or patterns did you experience today? By being aware - you are able to take the first step towards actively changing something you don't like in order to improve yourself and your life. 

By encouraging alone time for yourself, it means that you can explore things in your life, without the pressures and judgements that other people may impose on you. Spending time by yourself is super important for growth and self development because instead of worrying yourself about the needs and  opinions of others, alone time allows you to focus only on yourself. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is needed, because when you are able to build yourself up, you are able to not only help yourself but others too. I love taking time for myself because it allows me to check in with myself and also reflect on past mistakes so that I can find the lesson in that experience in order for me to truly move forward. So whether you enjoy spending time in nature, taking yourself for a coffee, taking a long relaxing bath or simply reading on your couch with calming music in the background - take some time for yourself. This allows you to also build a healthy relationship with yourself and when you have a healthy relationship with yourself - you treat others better too. I think it is so important for parents to focus on loving themselves, because then there is a positive example for children who see that and who also strive to have a good self esteem and focus on developing self love - which allows you to make better choices for yourself throughout your life. I am not saying you won't make mistakes, because no one is perfect and mistakes allow us to learn and grow. However when we love ourselves, we tend to make more positive choices and we also focus on nurturing positive relationships with ourselves and others. So spending time alone is a form of self care and self love. 

Some signs that are showing you that you might need some alone time include: Irritability, lack of focus, social anxiety, your loss in interest to engage with other people, overstimulation, stress and feel overwhelmed. Being comfortable alone in your own company provides you with the time and freedom to truly explore your own passions without interference. It gives you the opportunity to try new things, focus on what interests you, allows you to practice new forms of self expression to allow you to explore parts of yourself which gives you a better understanding of who you are. By spending time alone, you are able to explore these things without any external pressure or judgement from others. It allows you to relieve stress. gives you time to reflect, allows you to count your blessings in your life, it promotes productivity, increases your mental strength and you get to do what you want without the pressures and responsibilities of everyday life. 

When I spend time by myself it is an opportunity for me to let my mind wander and it strengthens my creativity because without the need to interact with other people, I am able to ignore the outside noise and focus inward. Studies have shown that spending time by yourself can lead to changes in the brain that helps to fuel the creativity process. So without the constant social stimulation, your brain becomes more creative. Society makes us think that living alone or spending time alone, is a negative thing. However it is not. In order to truly figure out what makes you happy, you need to have that time to be by yourself. 

So how can you spend more time alone?

Well, choose a time and actually schedule it into your daily routine and make sure you are not interrupted by anyone. Turn off social media because it is important to remove distractions so that you can focus on your own thoughts and emotions and not what everyone else is doing. Plan something to do because many people are not comfortable with being alone, so perhaps explore a new hobby, go for a walk or read a book that you haven't picked up in a while. Studies have also shown that taking a walk and being outside has a positive effect on your wellbeing. Spending time outdoors with some beautiful scenery allows you to connect with yourself. 

For me, it was hard at first to enjoy being alone because I had to develop the right mindset when it comes to spending time by yourself. Instead of giving into the fear that ends up in you feeling super lonely and isolated - choose to reframe your mind to look at alone time as solitude and peace of mind. Spending time alone can have such amazing benefits to your mental health because it boosts your mood and also helps you to regulate your emotions. So how much time should you spend alone? Well firstly remember that it is a form of self care and people who regularly enjoy self care time are generally much happier and calmer than those who don't, because people who never spend time alone, usually have burnouts. So I would recommend that you spend at least 20 minutes a day doing something for yourself. It is so important for your own happiness. 

I hope that today's episode gave you more clarity on why enjoying alone time is so important and needed especially in today's world. I hope it has motivated you to focus on loving yourself again and finding your happy. 

I hope you have an amazing week and if you are new to the show - I release episodes every Wednesday.

I love you. 

Goodbye :)