How To Live A Life Without Regrets

Hi everyone! Welcome to HAPPY DAYS podcast! I am Kelly Ward - Your host. 

I am super keen to be hanging out with you today, so I hope you have had an amazing week. My week has been super busy, I worked until 6am for the past 4 days so I am finally getting my sleeping pattern back to normal again and I decided that I wanted to speak about living a life with no regrets because I am someone who feels bad a lot, I also fear failure at times and that stops me from going after things that I want in life. So I tried to imagine a life without feeling regret and rather using my mistakes or experiences or embarrassing moments as a perfect opportunity to learn and grow. So thank you for spending time with me today and I hope you gain a fresh perspective on life, because on HAPPY DAYS, we like to maintain a positive mindset throughout everything in life.  

So I am pretty sure that we all have someone in our lives that simply does not care what anyone thinks of them, they simply do what they want to do and I find it impressive when someone is so secure in themselves that they live life with heart and passion, and they aren't hurting anyone by being this way, they are simply being more of themselves and enjoying life the way they want to without regret. However let's be real, nobody is perfect and we all find ourselves cringing or sitting with regrets we may have about our lives, but what truly matters is how you react to the failures, missed opportunities and regrets you have in your life. Basically we can turn those experiences into valuable lessons for growth and move forward or we can dwell on them and allow it to inhibit our growth in life. What I have learned in my life is that if you choose to constantly play it safe because you have such a major fear of failure which I do at times, its totally normal. However having a mentality of staying inside your comfort zone will only eat away at your time. Do you want that? Because I certainly don't. 

Something that scares me and most people is being at the end of your life and you are filled with 'what ifs' and regrets. However so many of us live as if there is no end to our days, we stay in unfulfilling careers, we are scared to tell people how much we care about them, we stay in unhappy relationships, we promise ourselves that we will see the world someday and we hide our true selves from people because we fear of not being accepted or liked by anyone. I think regret has to do a lot with the fear of what other people are going to say or think of us, and how we will be judged or receive criticised.

When you make yourself aware of the fact that people are only projecting their own insecurities onto you when they judge you, it makes it slightly easier to simply not care so much because trust me - you can do nothing and people will still have something to say about you. Some people simply enjoy bringing other people down because it makes them feel good about themselves. When you start to understand this, it becomes easier to also push through all the negativity that does come with putting yourself out there and having a voice. It is part of life and something you need to basically adapt to and deal with or you will constantly limit yourself and in the end, only have more regrets. Which is such a total waste of life. I had an experience in my life which changed me for sure, and it was definitely a learning curve for me as well because before that experience I was someone who always stayed quiet, I would hide away, I was basically a pushover and people can sense that and they will pick on you and treat you really badly. So this experience really hurt me, it affected my mental health so much and it also opened my eyes to what I deserve and it was not to be treated the way I was by anyone. This experience truly broke my trust, it hurt me deeply and it also changed me for the better, because now I am stronger, I stand up for myself, I am not afraid to use my voice and speak up and if I didn't go through that experience, I would still be someone that anyone can walk right over, so it definitely is all about what you take away from the negative experiences you have in life that matters most. I choose to allow it to make me stronger. 

So firstly having no regrets does not mean you need to say yes to everything, it is about having balance. Learn to say no, there is freedom in that as well, but also be open to the constant learning process of life and not fearing failure so much. It is totally about how you frame the experiences in your life and maybe those people who do live life with 'no regrets' have had lots of experiences but they view them as lessons and have highlighted the benefits from each of those experiences. So many times we hide away from the fact that we need to take ownership of our lives and that we cannot constantly blame external factors for the things that go wrong in our lives, that is totally the easy way out. You make your own choices...don't you? Well you also obviously cannot control everything in your life, but you can control how you react to what happens and sometimes we can become overwhelmed with emotions but those moments are when we need to take a conscious step back and be calm and consider what is the best way to respond to this. When you take full responsibility for your own decisions in your life, it is one of the healthiest ways to avoid regrets in the future.  

So the important thing to take away from this episode is that you need to use your regrets as lessons. Regardless of what anyone may say to you, there is always a way and I believe that strongly, even in the moments when I am in a dark place mentally. There is always a way. There is always fight left in you. We are infinite beings, we can accomplish and achieve anything we set our minds too. Realize that. Understand that and get back up again. Whether you are not successful in an endeavour, pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there and learn from that experience. Change your perspective to seeing regrets has a positive thing, because it serves as a building block for who you are becoming and for who you are today. You cannot change the past, what's done is done but you still have this moment now, you still have your future so keep going. 

Our regrets and experiences teach us valuable attributes which are perseverance, resilience and mental strength. I am happy for the experiences I have been through, including the ups and downs because I gained so much strength and wisdom from it. It has also showed me what life I truly want and what makes me happy. If you are currently not happy in your life, try and figure out the root of that unhappiness so you can find a way to change it and it may be very hard to be honest with yourself and face reality but it is worth it in the end and you will be fine, you will get through this. So I want to highlight a simple approach to living life with no regrets. Firstly let your loved ones know how much you love them and value them because the experience of love is one of the best things in life. Also follow your dreams, trust your instincts, turn your failures into stepping stones, practice forgiveness more and laugh more. 

So realise that it is okay to make mistakes, be thankful for what you have and also don't take yourself too seriously. Enjoy the journey.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me today, if you are new to the podcast, I release episodes every Wednesday and feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel, I have added the link in the episode description. 

I wish you an amazing week and I love you all. 

Goodbye :)