Self compassion- The key to peace and joy in life

 Welcome sunshine!

Today's topic is about SELF COMPASSION.

This can be a very difficult topic because when you think about therapy, it basically is centered around discussion, dissection and hidden meanings. However humans cannot operate only on that level. Let us be real, because failures are unavoidable, struggles are many, miscommunication is a real thing and when we take the time to display compassion for ourselves and others, we develop the power to shift our perspectives on life, relationships and every aspect in our lives. It brings us true joy, peace and an immense amount of relief. 

One of the main things to consider is would you consider self compassion to be this. Would we think it was horribly cruel of us to speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves in our internal dialogue? 

Take a moment to actually write down some ways you could speak to yourself more compassionately. For example- when I notice myself stuck in a negative thought pattern or self judgement, I allow myself to feel all of those emotions whether it is sadness, rage or anger. I truly value those feelings because it is real and honest emotions. However I ask myself - 'In what way do I feel unlovable or not good enough right now?' Once I understand the thought process behind those emotions, I slowly start guiding myself back to practicing self love. To be honest, it is a very Buddhist way to understand life because it is understood that suffering is part of life. It is part of the entire human experience and that is what actually makes it beautiful and also gives life meaning. 

Allow your inner wisdom to come forward in moments when you feel down and out or weak. Allow that part of yourself that has experienced a lot but also gained so much wisdom from those experiences to actually pick you up and show you the light or the good in any situation. 

This is when you start to practice self soothing, self love and self compassion. 

When you actually use loving self talk as a way to bring yourself back to a place of deep love, compassion and peace, you are also allowing yourself to be wherever you are and experience whatever you are feeling because it means not resisting it or suppressing those emotions but allowing it to help you to heal. 

When you find yourself being stuck in negative self talk try these simple steps. 

1. Consciously notice the fact that you are encouraging negative self talk. 

2. Ask yourself- 'In what ways do I feel unlovable or not good enough?'

3. Try and be more accepting, loving and forgiving towards yourself. Make it a habit to love yourself. 

It is also not just about being compassionate towards ourselves but also being compassionate towards others because that can benefit your personal feelings too. Having compassion for a friend who hurt you, can also help bring you out of a personal experience that damaged you but instead you are now choosing to replace those feelings of resentment and hurt with love, understanding and peace. Having compassion for our parents' mistakes because they are just people after all who have struggled, suffered and learnt from their mistakes. If some one has actively made a change in their lives and wants to better themselves even after making a mountain of mistakes- forgive them. Feel yourself from that suffering that only holds you back in the end. 

When you practice love and compassion for yourself it not only benefits the relationship you have with yourself but also with others. Your authentic truth is your brilliance and the willingness to allow the world to see you in truth is your greatest contribution because people can relate and feel closer to you in the presence of your self love and vulnerability. Self compassion is one of the most powerful components of a healthy relationship with yourself and others. 

Don't forget to show love and gratitude to every part of who you are.