Self Doubt

 Hi everyone!

Welcome to HAPPY DAYS podcast. I am Kelly Ward - Your host. 

I hope you are having a beautiful week and I am so keen to be hanging out with you today. This is the last podcast episode for the year of 2021. How crazy...

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It was said that Van Gogh said this - If you hear a voice within you that says you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. 

So often we give into that voice in our minds that chips away at our confidence and fills our heads with doubt. For example - what if you mess up? What if you make a total fool of yourself? What will people say? You just aren't smart enough, talented enough, capable enough or experienced enough. I feel like we all have those moments where we feel overwhelmed by self doubt. If we allow ourselves to constantly listen to those thoughts of self doubt, it will literally only push you in the direction of being over cautious and will keep you from taking actions that would help you achieve what you want in life. 

So how can you overcome self doubt?

Choose to embrace self doubt as part of life. Acknowledge that having doubts is part of the human experience and that it is there to keep you safe and by embracing self doubt as an intrinsic part of life, it helps you to claim your power back that self doubt sometimes has over you. You need to realize that you are human, you will make mistakes, you will doubt yourself, what matters is what you choose to do next. Having self doubts are just your fears that manifest in order to protect you from failure or disappointment. However so often doubt can also stop us from gaining something positive because we simply fear even making an attempt to go after what we want in life. Your doubts are not the truth. So next time you find yourself doubting your abilities or doubting your dreams. Ask yourself - is this really a true representation of what I think about myself or are these thoughts that are coming up out of fear?

Self doubt is learned, no one is born with self doubt. When we are younger, we have so much more confidence however as we become adults, our self confidence becomes diminished by the opinions of others and by our own experiences. Wherever your self doubt stems from, it is basically a defense mechanism, it is our brains protecting us from embarrassment and failure. Self doubt is also driven by fear and it prevents us from achieving success in our lives because we are being held back by feelings of not being good enough. There are two types of fear - fear of not being loved and fear of not being good enough, and the only way to really get rid of self doubt, is to take the time to identify what fears you may have and then over come those fears. I have moments of self doubt, where I question myself and if I am good enough to do something and what I have done in those moments, is I identify the limiting beliefs holding me back, and once you can figure out what your limiting beliefs are, you are able to change your mindset. I also focus on how I speak to myself. So remember our thoughts create our reality, so what you think of yourself is so much more important than what someone else is thinking of you. You need to start making the effort to change your self talk from not feeling good enough or worthy enough and changing that narrative to building yourself up again, whether you choose positive affirmations or you practice some self care, you need to be more aware of the way you speak to yourself, because it matters. Stop allowing your inner critic so much power over the way you live your life. Transform your inner critic into your biggest fan, where you start to focus on developing a healthier inner dialogue. The biggest way to really overcome self doubt is to focus on the people you want to serve, the dreams you want to achieve and the life you want to live. Focus more on your desires than your fears. Give the good more power than the negative. When you become more fearful of what you are going to miss out on in your life, than constantly focusing on the negative consequences that comes from failure, you are able to shift your mind to focus your energy on what you want out of life, than the fear of failing. When you start to remind yourself that failure is part of life, it is meant to teach us something and make us stronger, you are able to let go of what is holding you back and embrace the experiences of life. Surround yourself with support. To be able to learn how to overcome self doubt and achieve success in your life, you will need people to lift you up. Find someone who inspires you and identify positive attributes they have, that you could try in your life. Decrease relationships that bring negativity in your life and surround yourself with positivity and support instead. The person I look up to the most in life, is not a celebrity or public figure, it's my dad. He is someone I strive to be like. He is the most hardworking, strong, driven, positive, resilient, inspirational human being I know and he has the best energy to be around. So surround yourself with good people. 

So start working towards your goals, it is totally fine to start small. The more you achieve, the more confidence you build overtime and eventually you will eliminate self doubt in your life. Setbacks are part of any transformational growth, if you don't hit a wall once in a while, then you probably are not pushing hard enough. The difference between someone who over comes self doubt and makes the effort to over come it, compared to someone who allows it to hold them back, is INNER STRENGTH, because the stronger person sees self doubt for what it is - which is fear. This basically gives them the opportunity to find the lessons in their failures. So my advice - get back up and keep going. There is strength within you, that is waiting to be discovered. 

I wish you an awesome week and a Happy New Year! When you change your mindset, you change your life, so always focus on the positive. 

Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I love you :)

Goodbye.