(#3) how to let go of CONTROL

 Hello beautiful people!

Welcome back to WELLNESS BABE podcast. I am Kelly Ann Ward

I hope you are doing good and hope your week has been amazing. I am super keen to be spending some time with you. 

Have you ever felt super anxious about your future, not knowing if things are going to work out, if you are ever going to find the right person to share your life with, are you going to achieve your goals and dreams and perhaps you are going through a difficult time in your life and you are unsure about the outcome...

So...on this week's episode, I decided I wanted to speak about how to let go of CONTROL. This is a concept we all struggle with, and it takes so much of the present moment, because you are choosing to focus on what you can't control. Therefore it may be time, to simply let go of the need to control and flow with life. Life has your back. 

Think about it...

How different would your day look like, if you let go of the need to control every outcome as well as other people's behaviour. We sometimes allow the behaviour of others to control so much of our lives and emotions. Why?

What if you just let go and let it all be? Did your mind begin anxiously racing through all the things that could possibly go wrong? Don't worry, because today I am going to show you what works and what will help you in letting go of the need to control everything. Some things are beyond our control and when you realize that, you will be able to feel more free. We spend so much of our energy trying to change the unchangeable. However, here is a simple truth to understand. You are not in control. You are in a partnership with the Universe, therefore learn to trust life more. 

I am not saying, just chill on the couch everyday, don't focus on achieving your goals and wait around for life to do it's thing, because that is expecting that life owes you anything. What I am trying to convey is that yes, you can't control everything, you need to still create a plan on how you are going to achieve your goals, and you need to still make the effort to achieve them, however you need to also be open to the various changes that occur in life, therefore you need to be open to adapting to those changes instead of trying to control everything. 

So, I want to share with you, 5 simple ways for you to let go of control, in order to lead a happier life. 

Step 1: Choose to focus on what you can control. 

So what can you actually control? Well...

You can control your actions, reactions and the words that you speak. What you can't control is the weather, traffic, other people's behaviour and attitude, and also what other people think of you. My vibe in life right now is not caring so much about what other people think and there is so much value when you decide to live your life this way, because people will always have opinions which you cannot change and spending your time and energy worrying about what people think of you, only prohibits you from living your life. You need to really ask yourself if you can control this - and also ask yourself if you need to. Some things just aren't really that important and if it is something that you can change and that is super important to you, then put the energy and time into it and do the best that you can. 

Step 2: Understand why you feel the need to control the uncontrollable. 

For example - when you think about a situation or person that you can't control but you are compelled to try, why don't you rather, take a moment and identify the feeling underneath that desire to control. Does that particular situation make you feel anxious, fearful or stressed out? Do you perhaps think that things won't work out the way you want? Are you afraid to love someone's love or respect? Make a conscious effort to analyse those thoughts and emotions, so that you can understand them and find where they are coming from. In order to change something in life that is causing you stress and anxiety, you need to listen to what you are feeling, be kind to yourself and give those emotions your full attention. 

If this all sounds like way too much work for you...then you aren't ready to take that next step in your life, because in order to grow, in order to develop mental toughness and in order to create a life that makes you feel happy and good. You need to be able to put in that self work and commit to making a change. You need to have a no BS approach, because in life, we allow way too many things to hold us back and it's time to really make the effort to commit to yourself. 

Step 3: Embrace and accept the outcome.

In order to actually let go of the need to control, we need to be willing and open to accept the outcome, whatever it may be. It most likely won't be just as we'd pictured it to be or it could all work out, however being prepared for any outcome, means releasing yourself from the need to control everything in your life. When you start to let go, you allow more room for an even better outcome to occur and you allow the space for more positive emotions to develop, instead of living life on fear and anxiousness. By surrendering to the process of life and going with the flow of life, it does not mean that you are giving your power away, it means that instead of resisting the ever changing concept we call life, you are now embracing the flow of it and refocusing your energy on what you can control, instead of stressing yourself out over what you can't control. It is about reacting in ways that support your growth when life may unfold in unexpected ways. Therefore be prepared for anything. Be strong enough to handle anything. The Universe is always working in our best interest, even when we don't understand how, it will make sense much later. 

Step 4: Choose people that choose you. 

Sometimes we may want to be liked by everyone, and we may go above and beyond to make the effort for someone, who simply may not even care or wouldn't do that for you. You need to know where to draw the line because it is so important to choose the people that would choose you and send good vibes to the people who don't. It does not mean that someone who doesn't choose you is a bad person, it just means that they are not your people and rather focus your energy on making the effort with people who see your value and want to be apart of your life. I want to share something with you that has helped me in letting go of what I cannot control. Having a mantra that reminds you of why you let go of what you can't control, will provide you with the reassurance and support you need to get through anything. 

Repeat after me:

I am not in control, and that is ok. I never was.

I have certainty in the process, even when the outcome is unknown. 

So...let's discuss the last and final step to help you let go of CONTROL. 

Step 5: Feel good about your decision and feel confident that you made the right one for you.

Letting go provides you with so much freedom than control ever could. It may be hard in the beginning to embrace this new way of thinking, however you need to stop wasting time about things you literally can't control. Anything you can't control in your life, it basically teaching you how to let go. 

I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of WELLNESS BABE. 

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I wish you a beautiful week. Thank you so much for listening. 

I love you.

Ciao :)